In an inspirational keynote talk, Marta Kauffman, one of the hottest names in comedy writing, shared life lessons and a few backstories with more than 200 humor writers at “Get Your Funny On! The Virtual Erma.”
“We writers have a responsibility to let our humanity shine through our work,” said the co-creator of the Emmy Award-winning Friends and the popular Grace and Frankie. “We make people laugh when they need it most. We wake them up to dark, personal worlds. We warm hearts. We put spotlights on everything from addiction to xenophobia and everything in between.
“And when done well, the writer opens up worlds to the reader and viewer.”
With equal doses of candor and vulnerability, Kauffman described her journey to calling herself a writer. It didn’t happen overnight.
“It wasn’t even during 10 years of Friends that I was able to call myself a writer. I was a producer, crafter of stories, a holder of the vision of the show, but writer was still an identity I had yet to embrace,” said Kauffman, who recently started an all-female production company, Okay Goodnight. “Because of Grace and Frankie I was able to find the through line of my work.”
Kauffman shared how she turned “failures and tests of confidence” into lessons. Her words spoke directly to writers. To wit:
On Imposter’s Syndrome: “When I tell people I’m a writer, I feel like a fraud, a fake. Some may say I suffer from imposter phenomenon, which was originally defined as the internal experience of a group of high-achieving women who have a secret sense they were not as capable as others thought. I assume this phenomenon is rampant among most writers because, let’s face it, we’re a bunch of fragile, insecure folks.”
On the blank page: “The blank page stares back and dares me to put something on it. In those moments before my fingers begin to tap on the keyboard, I wonder if I’ve lost all ability to put words to paper. Each blank page is a rebuke of my painfully gained confidence. Then I start writing.”
On first drafts: “I call the first draft a vomit draft. It feels awful, but when it comes out, what a relief. Then the fun part starts — the rewriting, the honing, the careful choosing of words, the shaping of jokes, even the stage directions to give the actors clarity.”
On her process: “I write in waves. I sit down, start writing and go until the waves crash on the shore. Usually that happens at the end of a scene. I step away, do something else and let the next scene percolate. When an idea comes to me, I get on that wave and go again. There are riptides out there that will carry you far beyond your task but, just like in the ocean, we have to learn to go with the tide.”
On her sweet spot: Both Friends and Grace and Frankie are comfort food. They’re both funny and moving. That’s my sweet spot — to be funny and moving.”
On the movie she wished she had written: “Terms of Endearment. It’s funny and moving. …I write shows I want to watch, and I’m hard to please. I have to work hard. I also learned I have to be resilient, take criticism, move on and fall in love with the next project.”
On plot twists: “When (David Crane and I) wrote the pilot, we thought Monica and Joey were the couple, and it was Ross and Rachel.”
Kauffman urged writers to claim their voices. “We do have to learn how to quiet all the voices that quiet us. You are here because you have something to say. As Erma Bombeck says, ‘It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.’
“You are all courageous to call yourselves writers and to share your dreams and nightmares with us. And, you writers, experienced or green, young or old, I am proud to be standing among you.”
Kauffman’s talk is part of a series of virtual events leading up to the April 4-6, 2024, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop at the University of Dayton. Registration opens Nov. 15.